I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
