whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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