I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
