Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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