so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
