there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
