Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
