I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
