I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
