weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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