Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
