New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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