This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
