apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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