Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
