She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
