I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
that may or may not have been my penis.
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