Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
