In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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