fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
