You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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