drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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