the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
