Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
