Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
