I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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