im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
