He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We named our party play list daddy issues
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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