I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Come on in and take your pants off
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