I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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