You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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