you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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