I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
