no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
