Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
