brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
