Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You left your phone here
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