I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
