you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
ttyl tear gas
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
