you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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