I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
