I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
