East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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