I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
