I need help removing her.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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