I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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