took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
