GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
