So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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