Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
