But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
