My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
