I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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