everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
